There is a fetid  wave lapping this shore that is so unpleasant it burns my eyes like smoke. Too much confusion, and second thoughts — and third thoughts — and after thoughts, in the amount of time it takes a brain to slow its pace I could have walked from here to your door and back. Never knocking, only raising a clenched fist and chickening out at the very last second. The fear is something that has grown inside me since childhood. Now I’ve brought it to term. It is here with me and very well may not leave. Please accept this cold hand and fevered cheek as tokens of my appreciation. It’s not ending anytime soon.

NAILS against skin. In pitch-black rooms.
Hurried breaths. Fractured SIGHS.
At night’s end, rising water find CRACKS.
in ONCE fortified walls. Now the mockingbirds drink,
while the PUBLIC learns what is no longer secret.

Sunlight hardens black leather, wind sweeps other former lovers into our homes, and shades are drawn to keep demons guessing.

Down at the foot of the hill there is an empty lot that houses a decaying trailer whose exterior is home to a familiar face formed in black spray paint, a haunting figure from childhood that follows wherever I go.

On sunny days in Santa Monica we pray not to fall on our asses.

It is official, therefore I said it. Not rumor or inference, just a solitary statement of truth.

Arms like tongs
hold onto little
tokens of affection
leftovers remnants
glowing orange embers
black ashes
a quenched thirst
and smothered fire
sending smoke signals
above trees
our neighbors
worship the dead
we bask outdoors
summer’s dignity
keeps us high
bullet fingers shoot
through our spines
leave us paralyzed

Rickety roller coaster ride of life — like one-way street — is often unforgiving.

And what if the ground were to swell and open and swallow this rock? Would it feel anything like the collapse?

We walked along the bluffs, our stomachs full, our heads slightly fogged, and our jackets wrapped tightly around our torsos. It was a perfect Christmas sunset on the West Coast, certainly an unexpectedly awesome experience.